


I'm Alive?

by wahoowow



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Next to Normal - Kitt/Yorkey
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-06 14:20:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5420315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wahoowow/pseuds/wahoowow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Marius feels next to normal</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Alive?

Marius came to the Cafe as soon as he was strong enough, both mentally and physically. Cosette had asked if she should come, but he said no, this was something he had to do by himself.

The first time he made it to where the barricade had stood. The streets had been scrubbed clean of blood by that point, but Marius could still see a stubborn stain of blood on the wooden door of the Cafe. The glass had yet to be replaced. The smell of gunpowder filled Marius’s nostrils and cannons rang in his ears. Marius saw his friends shot down again and again in the streets. His breathing came short and fast and he began to feel faint.

He had to go home.

~

The next week he made it inside the cafe. The cafe was not as fortunate as the street; it was still riddled with bullets and blood. Several chairs and tables lay abandoned on their sides. Marius tried to remember what the Cafe had looked like before. And suddenly they were there. Grantaire in a corner drinking. Courfeyrac, Bahrol, Feuilly and Bouset at a table playing cards and laughing loudly. Joly looking in a mirror at his tongue. Combeferre and Jehan next to a stack of books. And Enjolras, at the center of it all, rallying his people to arms with talk of liberty and equality. They were all together again, Marius among them and for a few precious moments the revolution had not happened yet. Marius felt wonderful in his memories--until he tripped on a fallen musket and he and the illusion came crashing onto the floor.  
He pulled himself back to his feet and looked around the desolate Cafe, feeling suddenly heartbroken. Marius thought he heard a voice whispering softly in the Cafe Musain. A whisper that grew into a melody. It sounded like Enjolras. “Oh God, I can hear them now,” thought Marius. Words filled Marius’s head. Enjolras seemed to be singing to him, “I’m alive! I’m alive! I am so alive!” Marius’s head whipped around and there, at the corner table sat Enjolras. The light made it difficult to tell if Enjolras was a figment of Marius’s imagination or if he was real.  
“Gabriel, you survived?” whispered Marius, barely breathing. Enjolras smiled the brightest smile Marius had ever seen.  
“But--how? Are there any others?”  
Enjolras dipped his head sadly, “I am the one.”  
“Oh God. Oh my friends! My friends!” Marius, weak from the exertion already, collapsed to his knees and buried his face in his hands as the memories of that day hit him again. He thought he had cried all his tears, but fresh recruits fell down his face. Which reminded him of the recruits that had been sorely on that lonely barricade. And he had to laugh at himself because he was starting to poetically narrate his own thoughts which seemed like something Jehan would do except Jehan was dead and so were all his friends and--  
A cool hand laid itself upon his shoulder. After a few beats Marius felt arms tenderly encircle him. “Cosette, I thought I asked you not to come with me today?” he asked, choking on a sob. “She didn’t,” Enjolras said. Marius turned his head to the side so he could see Enjolras. “This can’t be. You’re dead. Your name was in the paper along with all of theirs. This isn’t real.” “Marius, I told you, I’m alive. I’m right behind you.” Marius started to shake his head but stopped. He was supposed to be dead too. If someone hadn’t pulled him from the barricade he would be dead like Courfeyrac and the others. Why would it be so surprising if Enjolras had survived too? And with Enjolras, or at least, someone who looked an awful lot like Enjolras, squatting barely two inches away from him, why couldn’t it really be Enjolras? The more he thought about it the more it made sense. Yes, Enjolras must have survived. He must survive. For just another day, Enjolras must live.

~

The day of the wedding Marius saw Enjolras looking very uncomfortable in a white suit standing with the guests outside the church. Marius pulled Enjolras aside before going in. “While I appreciate the effort, you really don’t need to dress up. You don’t look like yourself.” Enjolras nodded, slightly gratefully.  
Marius saw Enjolras again at the reception at his grandfather’s house. He was pleased to see Enjolras back in his customary red jacket and black pants and looking far more at home.  
“Who are you looking at, Marius?” Cosette asked. Marius smiled down at her. “Just a friend, my dearest,” he said with a kiss.

~

“Marius, what’s wrong? You look as if you’ve seen a ghost,” Cosette reached up to feel Marius’s forehead but he jerked back at her touch. Enjolras watched him from the top of the stairs. Cosette had persuaded Marius’s grandfather to let them spend a week in the smaller country house. She knew how much Marius loved the mountains and Cosette thought the country air and time out of Paris might do him good. Now as they stood around a table in the kitchen near some stairs, she wondered if it had been a good idea. Cosette watched Marius begin to move about the kitchen, preparing another place at the table. “Marius there’s no one else coming to dinner.”  
“That’s because he’s already here.”  
Cosette shook her head and thought of the person she tried to ignore. “Marius, he’s not here. Our son has been dead for 17 years.”  
“I know he’s not here! But he is! Why can’t you see him?”  
“Who are you talking about?” Cosette asked, slightly bewildered. Even as she said the words, she knew who Marius referred to. Someone else she tried not to talk about or even think about because it upset Marius so much. She didn’t know Enjolras or the other Les Amis d‘ABC at all really, except for Eponine, [even if she didn’t have fond memories of the girl]. She didn’t want Marius to get upset, but she couldn’t help feeling exasperated. Enjolras was someone who followed them everywhere and frankly she wished Marius would open up more to her because she wanted to help him. “Marius, I know what it’s like to lose someone close to you! My father died after the barricade fell, after he saved you I might add. I lost someone too. I know what it feels like.”  
“You don’t know! You don’t know what it’s like to feel like you should have died then, with them, with him!”  
“Keep your voice down! Natalie is upstairs, she doesn’t need anymore stress,” Cosette begged. Their daughter was a bit of a puzzle and had grown stranger and more distant ever since she met a young man named Henry. Before Cosette could think about her daughter’s odd behavior, Marius slammed a chair against the ground. “God Cosette! You don’t know what it’s like to feel dead, like you should be dead, like you wish you could be dead! Do you know what it’s like to run from a past that you can’t escape?”  
“Marius you have so much to live for! There’s me, there’s Natalie. I have been with you through all of this. Remember the promise we made to each other? I have stayed by you forever! I won’t ever leave you.”  
Enjolras chose to descend the stairs at that moment. “Hey. Cosette.” Cosette ignored him. Marius looked back and forth between the two of them. He ignored Cosette who continued to ignore Enjolras. Finally Marius couldn’t stand it any more and grabbed Enjolras and dragged him outside. When they were far enough away from the house, Marius knelt down and screamed.

~

“I’m leaving,” Marius said apologetically with a slight smile.  
“Why?” Cosette blinked back the tears.  
“Because I need to.” And he left [author’s note: this is a reference to how in the book MARIUS IS A TOTAL JERK TO VALJEAN and it carries over to Cosette.]  
Cosette was now alone. Natalie was out, probably with Henry, and Cosette was truly by herself for the first time in years. Marius and she had walked together through good times and tragedy for almost 20 years and now he was gone.  
Cosette heard His voice, sweetly singing a tune she thought she recognized. She turned and saw a young man with bright blonde hair and a brilliant scarlet vest walking purposefully toward her. “Why are you here? What are you doing?” she asked the him. He looked the way she imagined her son would look. She had seen a picture once which Marius had left out of a young man with blond hair and flashing eyes. The man smiled sadly at her, and reached out, tentatively at first before drawing her forcefully into a tight hug. Cosette tried to pull back, but she gave in and quietly started crying a little.  
She whispered his name  
“Gabriel.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! First fic. Tried to squeeze as many references to both shows in as possible. Enjoy!


End file.
